Jan 30th

Not much has happened Sarah-wise in the last two weeks but I did manage to snatch a couple of times alone and made the most of it by dressing and taking some pictures. I also made another short video, which this times has been passed by my approval board (me) and which I posted on my Flickr site a few dyas ago. I have been drip-feeding the stills there as well and had some lovely responses from my beautiful friends. All the pics were of me in a floral summer dress that (I think) was my daughter's because I don't recall ever seeing my wife wearing it.

Today is a good day for prospects of becoming Sarah again soon because my wife has decided to spend a five days away visiting our daughter who having got married last month is now living 1000 miles away in another city. I have booked her flight on Feb 17th and can't wait to be alone ! I don't know exactly what I will do during that period but be sure that I will spend as much time en femme as I can. Probably also do a shopping trip or two. Unfortunately no chance of meeting other t-girls here but I can amuse myself !!
I had an interesting exchange with my wife a few days ago. I raised once again the idea that we should spend more time apart and she said to me with a wry smile "Have you got a relationship going then ?" "No of course not" was my immediate (and truthful) reply "just with myself" I muttered quietly. She would have heard it but didn't react. Her choice of words are intriguing. She didn't ask if I was having an affair - the normal question. Should I read anything into it ? In my fevered mind, I play over and over the imagined conversation that could have ensued had she reacted further to me saying:-
Just with myself"
(IMAGINED:-
She: What is that supposed to mean ?
Me: There is nobody else - just me and my alter ego.
She: Who is your alter ego and why would you have a relationship with it ?
Me: I can't tell you - you would'nt like it
She: Now you've got me curious - you will have to tell me
Me: OK, well you know how you have often in the past said you see feminine traits - you even asked my when we were first going out if I was gay.
She: Yes, well are you ?
Me: No, I told you then, if anything I am even more attracted to women than other men - to the extent that, like thousands and thousands of other heterosexual men, I like to emulate feminine beauty. The fact is that I am a cross-dresser and try to transform myself into a beautiful woman when I am alone. There it is - I expect you are shocked.
She: (stunned silence) then: You can get help for this and treatment to overcome it.
Me: Impossible ! It is not a disease and anyway, I don't want to overcome it or give it up. It is part of who I am - like it is for so many others.
AT THIS POINT she would begin a violent tirade against me, how I have misled her and how this would damage our children etc etc.
I think you can see why I am keepin it secret - for now at least !!!