The whole dressing thing keeps growing stronger and more compulsive. Its like bread dough rising as the yeast ferments; you can't see it swelling but every time I take a peek, its got a bit larger. No, I'm not referring to my sexual organ but the way the "hobby" has taken over my mind ! I guess most of you reading this have gone through the same experience but the problem is "where to next ?"
I don't have any desire to transition but I would like the freedom to become the girl of my dreams whenever I want - and that can only happen if I live alone. If I were to tell my wife, it would all come crashing down but if we separate, perhaps I can achieve what I desire. Our relationship has been unsatisfactory fo years but when I raise the issue of separation, she avoids the subject, suggesting that she doesn't want it but not saying so directly. She is often quite verbally abusive but I still have feelings for her and since I have soft heart, I would feel sorry for her if she was unhappy. Its quite a dilemma.
Meanwhile, I take what opportunity I can to express my femininity. The most recent - a couple of days ago - was a window of only a few hours. Since my stash is well hidden and quite a mission to get out and repack afterwards, I used some clothes of hers and my daughter that are stuffed away in drawers and rarely used. I didn't bother with a bra or falsies and used minimal make-up. Luckily, I am keeping my wigs more readily available in a locked hand-luggage case that I take on travels. In this way, I was able to produce some new pictures which (with a little help from Adobe Photoshop)seem to prove that I don't need to go overboard to transform. It is quite scary but I feel like the characters in Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde; when after a time, the transformation seems to happen by itself - without the need to take the potion !
